Normalcy Accomplished

For the first time in weeks, my son was in bed at his normal bedtime. My dogs were inside at their normal inside time. I am curled under the covers around my normal bedtime. The only thing that isn't normal is my husband's work hours. Sam's Club is still open until 10pm. I cannot wait for that aspect of life to return to normal.

11 days and we make a move to Catawba. We are buying land from Mom, temporarily living in my grandfather's old house, and getting a construction loan to build our own house in front of it. I must say this will be a welcomed change. My son will have the space he craves, I will have the silence and privacy of our own place, my husband will have a hideout in the buildings out back filled with wood tools. Hello, progress.

I've started planning Brayden's first birthday. My husband and I are wanting to have it at Glenn Hilton Park. We definitely have a date. March 31st. We can't agree on a time. I am having trouble with a theme. Pinterest has too many wonderful ideas. He likes tractors so I thought maybe a John Deere theme. Seems different from the Thomas the Train and Dinosaur stuff everyone else suggests. Sticking in true fashion of my resolution, my husband and I will decide together. People already want to place their ideas and their thoughts into it. I'm not having it. He is mine and Zack's son, and we will make the decisions. We do not need outside assistance.

I am gaining a sister in law this month. I am trying to allow her and my brother carve their own path. I don't want to throw in my recommendations on what makes my marriage work at them. I don't want to be the in law that bosses them around and tells them what to do. They need to find their own way. Find a way that works for them, and don't let anyone change that. If they asked me for advice, I would tell them fight for your relationship, no matter how many times you just want to give up. You will disagree. It's natural. Don't let that ruin a relationship you want to last forever.

Now that I have my thoughts out for the day, I am going to study the back of my eyelids. 7am comes early, and tomorrow will be busy at work.

Baking Soda and Mother-Daughter bonding

Who could ever guess in their wildest dreams that baking soda could lead to a New Years Eve full of mother-daughter bonding time? Lord knows it was much needed. I haven't had the opportunity to spend time with my mother since my grandmother's death.

Brayden wasn't feeling well last night. I think that's the first thing we need to thank the Lord for. It is what it caused me not to go celebrate with my in-laws. Second, Pinterest. No, I am not joking. We both started looking on the website and found so many different things we wanted to try later. Then we found a suggestion on how to clean a glass stove top with baking soda.

My poor grandmother tried for years and years to clean that stove top while she was here and had no success in accomplishing that feat. The suggestion was take baking soda, sprinkle it over the spot that needed to be cleaned (all over the stove in our case!), take a rag, soak it in hot water and soap, wring it out where its pretty wet still but not full of water and spread it on the stove for 15 minutes. Then you scrub.

We literally stood in the kitchen for 15 minutes talking about how if it worked, our cousin Bev would be correct in how she says baking soda has a ton of uses. 15 minutes later, we scrubbed. We probably did this for another good 10 minutes, but almost 15 years of stove build up is off the stove now.

More importantly, my mother and I learned something new together.

It will be a story to pass along to my son one day, in hopes that when he does have a family of his own (when he reaches age 60!) he will have a story of his own like this to share.

Well, as I took a break from typing this out, I have managed to have my first injury of the new year. I stabbed my thumb with a knife while loading the dishwasher. Go figure. Nothing a Hello Kitty bandaid cannot fix :) I don't believe it's a deep stab.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year!! Until next time.

New Years Resolutions

I always say each year I refuse to make a New Year's Resolution of any type. I typically find them pointless, and they are something I have never kept in my life. This year, things will be different. Maybe it's because there's a little boy in my life who looks at me and calls me "Mama". I want to be a better person for him, and set as perfect of an example I can for him. I know we are all far from perfect, but I can at least try and come close to showing him how life should be.

1. EAT HEALTHIER
• I have been slacking on this, until I started my new job. Usually I find the pattern with any new job is that I gain weight. I have actually successfully lost 5 pounds with this new job. They literally make it easy for you to eat healthy at work. They are also allowing us to go to Weight Watchers for free starting tomorrow. It is something I am going to take apart in. I need a healthier lifestyle for my son, aside from all the other added benefits
2. BE FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE
• Financially speaking, I can control myself. I don't indulge in myself except for one day of the year. Each of the 364 days, it's usually my husband. I need to find that happy medium to where he is not blowing through money, and to where we are saving more. Brayden has his own savings account that is automatically deposited from each of our paychecks. Now, if we can start something like that for ourselves, I would feel a little more financially responsible
3. TAKE CONTROL OF MY LIFE
• This is something God is going to have to help me with. I think he knows this already because Lord knows I have shot off my mouth more than I should have since Brayden was born. I need to come to the fact that just because a few people do not accept me for who I am, and want to control my life, doesn't mean I need to sour someone else's cornflakes. Once again, I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be. However, someone out there thinks I am perfect for him. Enough so to be married to him and have his son. I am who I am, and I refuse to appease everyone but myself. I am going to raise my son my way. I don't need help with it. What I need is for people not to meddle. I also need to understand that just because I know they gossip about me behind my back, doesn't mean I need to do the same. Gossip needs to find it's way out of my life.
4. BLOG EVERYDAY
• This should be easy. I own a smartphone. I am sure there is a way to update this blog everyday. I want to keep up with the things my son is doing. I don't always remember to write them down in his baby book, so maybe if I have them someplace else, I can use it to update the baby book.

So that's it. Four resolutions. Here's to keeping them for 2012! Happy New Years!

i just want your kiss. i wanna feel just like this one last time.

There's something about Kellie Pickler that I haven't put my finger on just yet. I mean it. The woman is amazing. I didn't like her on American Idol. At all. I was like "Go back home to Albemarle and just stay there." But now...let me tell you. I've had her album on here at work for the past hour. We have this thing called a Sound Blade, and it's a stereo bluetooth speaker system that plays your music on your phone. I've had it on my phone all day. Neat little accessory. $140.00 for it though. I'm considering it.

As far as rest went, it sucked last night. SUCKED. I won't go into details but it's times like last night that I wish Zack and I didn't live with others. I'll leave it at that.

Which reminds me, December 12th I need to find another place to stay. I can't have sleepless nights again during holiday hours. Not when I have to open up a store the next day at 8am and stay there until 9pm. Not cool.

Tarheels lost to 'Cuse. That's all I'm saying about that.

Bobcats game tomorrow. PSYCHO T IS BACK!!!!!! Yeah we're excited. Would have loved to see Lawson too, but it's alright. Another time, another game. The season is still young. Go Pacers. LOL

I guess that's it for now. Mamaw's calling.

now i know what everybody means when they say love, love, love is looking good, good, good on you

Did you watch the CMA awards last night? Okay, I was torn in so many emotions. First off, I'm kind of ticked off at Brooks and Dunn. I think the way they snubbed Jennifer Nettles when she polietly invited Kix and Ronnie to come up and say something to their fans was wrong. When I was a little girl, I loved Brooks and Dunn. They were 2nd behind Reba. To see them not say anything to the fan base that has followed them for 20 years felt wrong. It felt like a personal blow. However, Jennifer Nettles has this crazy emotion when she sings the most beautiful songs. "Keep You" was the song that got me through my marriage last year. It's hard to believe how far Zack and I have come since then.

I feel like Peyton Sawyer. I can give you a playlist for each moment in my life. Like when I had my first real boyfriend I could probably tie it up with "How Did I Fall In Love With You" cause well, that started out as a friendship. He was dating one of my childhood best friends at the time and something clicked with us. I do not know what it was. Have no clue. Do I regret it? Sometimes. When I think about it, it was something I had to go through. I had to learn what a decietful person he was on my own.

When he left, "Tennessee" was my anthem by the Wreckers. I was looking at moving out of state. I had never felt that low in my life. I had this other friend going through a rough break up too. The girl had lied to him, told him she was pregnant with his child, then two weeks later she miscarried. Then he finds out she didn't even miscarry. She cheated on him and the baby wasn't his. We were there for each other. I kept telling him I thought about going to school out of state and trying to make something for myself. I needed to do that. By October 2006, it was decided that I would attend Sam Houston State University in August 2007.

Well..."Gravity" kicked in by then (Yes, John Mayer). Around February 2007. This friend...well...we started dating. It was a thing of ups and downs. He kept telling me he wanted to tell me he loved me, but he wanted to be sure. He didn't want to say it and then later decide he didn't mean it. Ladies and Gentlemen...this is the time I dated my husband.

July 2007 ..we were married. Obviously I didn't move out of state.

Okay, enough of my playlist! Really!

JENNIFER NETTLES. BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCE! I need to look up the music video. I loved "Stay" and if she showed that same emotion through "Keep You" then I suppose I'll bawl through that video too.

TAYLOR SWIFT! Girl has come a long long long long way.

LADY ANTEBELLUM WON AN AWARD TOO! So proud of them. Especially Hillary. Her mother is proud, I'm sure. I loved her mother. Still do. "Does He Love You"...best duet ever. EVER. EVER EVER EVER. No Reba isn't her mother. Linda Davis is.

Anyway. We finished our Christmas pictures yesterday. Take a look!

The last one has the FUNNIEST story. The kids..Well Hayden (The littest boy) wouldn't stand still. He was getting antsy. He's 2. That explains it all. Adyson just didn't want to smile at all. So Adyson started screaming and then she laughed, then Hayden laughed with her. So we all started screaming for a few seconds them the kids would laugh and tada...we'd get a good picture. Hilarious moment. Micah got bored with it eventually and just grabbed onto me and hung on my back after a while. Lol.

So yeah. I guess that's it. I'll end my useless ramblings here for now. Zack's coming home soon and I must stay up til midnight. Friday the 13th is upon us and it's also his birthday!! I'd love to find out if I was pregnant tomorrow and it be positive. I'd so put a bow on my belly and tell him Happy Birthday, but alas. I must wait for God's time. Patience is everything, right??

so tell me would he ask you to dance in the rain like we used to do?

Seriously!! Charles Kelley is love right now. The man has definitely grown in the vocal department from his old indie stuff to his new Lady Antebellum stuff. I cannot wait for them to come back around. Last time I saw them was October 2008, and I miss them. My mother misses their guitar player too. She has a secret crush on him. HAHA. When we saw them in October 2008, they were with Jason Aldean. We watched Lady A and then left. Now we're both kicking ourselves for that because well...we like Jason Aldean now!! He has some great songs!

Okay, aside from my undying love from Charles Kelley...I am offically 3 days late. Yes ladies, that kind of late. Late is normal for me, I keep telling myself. I'm trying not to go rush out and buy a HPT right now. Resisting that urge so bad. It's rather difficult because I want to know if I am or if I'm not. I know Zack wants to know. It makes me want to go out and get one now because his birthday is Friday, and if I am...well there's his birthday present! If not, it's wait and see for a few weeks if I start on my own. If I don't, it's back to the doctor for another round of Clomid. Got to love PCOS and infertility. It'll all be worth it in the end, I assume.

I've had 3 days off this week already. Monday, Tuesday (TODAY), and tomorrow. Yesterday we went out to Glen Hilton Park with Zena, Stephen, and her kiddos for pictures. The kids didn't cooperate AT ALL. So the only good pictures we got yesterday before it became dark was the ones of me and Zack together. Here's a few that you can see right now. I'll even post a link to the photographer's MySpace. We actually went to school together. She graduated with me or Zack one. Can't remember.

How cute are they?! Seriously, go check her other stuff out at http://www.myspace.com/chasing.daylight.photos We're having them finished up here at the house tomorrow in front of our BEAUTIFUL fireplace. Mucho excited.

So I guess that's it. I have a LONG RESEARCH PAPER to finish typing up. 10 PAGES. So I better get to it. More to come tomorrow I'm sure! I'll keep you guys updated on baby watch lol.

he comes in and wraps his arms around me, and i don't even have to say a thing

I can't figure out why in the world I can't keep up with this thing. Probably because I have yet to find a suitable application to update it with on my Blackberry. Yes, I have a Crackberry addiction that I need severe rehab for. I suppose it comes from my job. I wouldn't have even thought of using a Blackberry if it wasn't for work. Let me tell you, if you don't have one you need to try one. Grab one of your friends Blackberrys and give it a spin. Don't be overwhelmed by the operating system on it. It's going to look foreign to you until you get used to it. Then, you'll fall in love. There's a reason they have a 97% stick rate.

Stressed is the word of the day. This morning I felt completely refreshed thanks to daylight savings. I've been having a lot of back pain this week, but I'm just blaming the Clomid until proven otherwise. I did have a positive ovulation predictor kit test come back, so that is a plus sign. It means I'm going to have my period again! I'm not sure if I need to be jumping up and down on that one, or dreading it though. I pretty pleased. I'm ready for a baby.

Got to work, and one of the girls was late again. She was out, again. Drinking all night, again. Didn't make it in until 11:45. It's pretty normal for her. It's getting a little old for me to see her get away with it. She's a cool girl outside of work, but inside work we all need to have our act together and be grown ups. Otherwise, things don't go so smoothly.

Found out around 2 or 3 today that Jason was going to the ER because he didn't feel well. Jason is my brother for those of you who don't know me. He's a Specialist in the Army. Been over to Iraq for two separate tours, came down with PTSD (and that's been a battle in itself, let me tell you.), yet he's some how made it through all that. He's tough. He hasn't been feeling good the past two days, and he called our uncle just to check in and gave him the symptoms. Our uncle is a pharmacist, and what he doesn't know his wife/our aunt does because she's an RN. With the symptoms he was having, they suspected he was having a bleeding ulcer and urged him to go to the hospital. Thank god he did. Right now he's there -- admitted. He has internal bleeding, and they're trying to pinpoint it so they can treat it. I'm scared, I'll admit that. I also know that my brother is a grown up now. He's not the little kid who always stuck around me and wanted to annoy me, yet wanted to protect me at the same time. If something were to happen to him, I'd go crazy. We're closer now than we've ever been, and I wouldn't trade the world for it. Just say a special prayer for him, please.

Speaking of prayers and all things religious, Zack and I have found a church to go visit on Sunday. Sandy Ridge Baptist. They just lost their preacher to suicide not too long ago, but they're doing well. Plus they have a 9am service that I can go to and get out in time to go to work. No more excuses for me not to be in church. Zack reluctantly agreed, but I know he'll come around eventually. We need God in our lives for anything to work. This is a step in the right direction.

Other than that, things are going okay. I'm getting ready to transfer to a new store. I made that decision tonight. It's bittersweet, but it's what I need. A new start. There's only going to be 2 seasoned reps in the store, and I'm going to be one of them. Maybe if I prove I can do this, I can be promoted. That's what I want. Management! Oh, and my sister in law has a job there too now! This is going to be fun and interesting!! I'm just happy she has a job now!!

So I think that's it. Going to wrap this up and go to bed. Long day ahead of me tomorrow morning. Goodnight!

9:10PM Update: Jason has a NG tube in place. Basically a tube that goes into the nose, past the throat, and into his stomach. They're draining and clearing everything out of his stomach so they can do a scope in the morning to see if it is an ulcer and if it's bleeding. Please keep him in your prayers.