Hospital Trip

6:45pm. I was sitting in the church pew and listening to our pastor go over the prayer list. I kept telling my husband I didn't need to go. When a doctor orders you to be on bedrest, they mean you need to be in bed resting!! Somehow he doesn't understand that.

7:05pm. Bible study had began. My second contraction hit.

This repeated itself at 7:25 and 7:50. At 8pm, after dropping our nephews off from taking them with us, I was completely uncomfortable. 8:05...another one. 8:20 I caved after having a few more painful contractions.

I called the doctor on call. She told me to take a hot bath and drink a ton of water. Once my bath was through, lay down immediately. I did that. By 9:45...the pain and contractions were still there. Gave it a little more time before I caved and called her back. She wanted me to come in for monitoring to see what was going on.

Was hooked up on monitors for 2 hours. The contractions were definitely there. However, my cervix was not changing from 1 cm. This is a good thing I thought. The rest of my family wanted them to deliver her.

Even this morning they called and asked me why I didn't ask for them to deliver her. Uh let's think about this. I am 2 days shy of 36 weeks. She is not considered full term. As soon as they got to her, she'd be off to the NICU and I wouldn't be able to hold or feed my child. She'd have an NG tube and oxygen in her plus who knows what else. If I can prevent my child from going through that torture then I am doing it. I will sit here and suffer until it's time.

I want her here, yes. However she is not ready to be here. I have to trust that...even if I am the only one trusting it.

Primary voting

May, 8 2012 - My husband took part in the purest form of democracy. Weeks ago I thought I had my mind made up. I thought it wasn't going to be changed. I early voted. I'll be honest. I don't mind doing that. I voted no to amend our state constitution to define marriage. My reasons at that time were simple. 2 years ago my mother was involved in a not so flattering relationship with a so-called man who beat her. I was there with her to obtain the emergency protection order against him. I was there when the court date came around. I was there after the court date where he tried to run my car off the road driving her back home after the protection order wasn't extended. It wasn't fun seeing my own mother go through this. I told her afterwards if she got back with him I would not be in her life. Thankfully she hasn't.

The wording of the amendment is similar to the wording in one of Ohio - where domestic violence laws have been challenged due to this. I hope and pray this is not in the future for NC.

However, I did change my mind on the issue last week. I could only hope and pray from that point on that my husband did his research. In my life, I define marriage as a man and a woman united in holy matrimony. I swore on a Bible that I would love and cherish the man laying next to me forever. I do not believe in divorce. I see a lot of my peers now who want to make divorce illegal now since the amendment has passed. I think they're full of it and mad at the world right now, but I would support it. I saw my mother go through 3 of them. When I got married I made it clear to my husband we were together forever and I would not entertain any thoughts of a divorce when things were tough.

Does this mean I have an issue against those who are gay? No. It's their personal choice and I am not God. All sins are level at the foot of the cross and if I let a cuss word slip out of my mouth I am just as guilty as they are. All I can do is ask for forgiveness and pray. I want them to have health insurance and legal protection if things go south, but marriage to me always has and always will be a man and a woman committed to each other.

I am appalled at all of the hatred on Facebook after this vote as well. We are grown adults acting more childish than my one year old sleeping in his crib. It disappoints me that if someone doesn't agree with another persons opinion that a war of words goes on.

My husband asked me tonight as we laid down in bed this question. I didn't press my views on him about the amendment. I just told him why I voted no but had a change of heart. "Are you going to be mad at me if I voted yes?"

I just smiled at him and told him no. Then he went on to explain why he voted the way he did. We did this in a civilized manner. No hateful words exchanged. Just I love yous and goodnight afterwards.

Then it made me realize just how blessed I am to have a husband dedicated to making our marriage work.

Now that I've blogged. I'm going to bed. I have a doctor's appointment for my daughter on the way in the morning. Let's hope she's doing amazing in there still. Yeah that biopsy on February 9 never happened. They ran a pregnancy test first. Came back positive and come to find out I was 22 weeks pregnant. Talk about a surprise :)

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